The Divine Sister

And speaking of drag queens (I was in my last post–See: THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW) the SpeakEasy Stage Company has mounted the New England Premiere of the Off-Broadway hit comedy THE DIVINE SISTER about one of my favorite subjects: nuns. I almost became one.  I ate slept and drank nuns. They lived next door to me for real, and I fantasized about them onscreen:  from Audrey Hepburn’s gorgeous guilt-ridden Congo-bound sister scientist in THE NUN’S STORY, and Ingrid Bergman’s beatific nun with a “touch of TB” in THE BELLS OF ST MARY’S, and Julie Andrews’ chipper but problematic singing postulant in THE SOUND OF MUSIC. Then there was the tremulous visionary played by Meg Tilly in AGNES OF GOD,  and eventually we arrive at la Streep playing the conflicted bossy sister who was knocked off her knees by DOUBT!!!! I even loved TV’s Flying Nun Sister Bertrille (presumably the patron saint of things with starched white wings) and can still mimic The Singing Nun’s rendition of DOMINIQUE phonetically—- stop me before I throw on a wimple.  But that ‘s another story.

Which actually brings me to this one. THE DIVINE SISTER  references– sometimes hilariously– all of these divine ladies and their predicaments, but much of it feels unnecessarily forced. I mean some of the source material is pretty funny to begin with. Written by the Tony nominated  playwright and actor Charles Busch, and directed by the very talented Larry Coen, THE DIVINE SISTER stars Jeffrey Roberson–A.K.A. Varla Jean Merman who tore up the stage with her vocals and comic bravado last season in the Gold Dust Orphan’s”Phantom of the Oprah.” Here she plays Mother Superior  trying to solve a problem like Agnes, a young postulant who’s seeing things– like images of the saints in the stains on soiled underwear. This is not really funny; it’s just gross. Especially when the action has the actors wearing the stained underwear on their heads.

Varla Jean’s entrance, habit flying, legs up and astride a bike– is pretty funny. There’s another great moment when she’s practically carried aloft by an umbrella in a wind storm.  But the show doesn’t capitalize on her gift for physical comedy. There’s something muted in the performance, and there’s not enough room for her to show off her big voice. It’s almost like they couldn’t decide whether to go for some semblance of verisimilitude, or go all out and over the top. The material certainly does– it’s an accumulation of mostly dirty jokes strung together to reference as many notable nuns as possible. So there’s a really convoluted plot involving a Nazi-esque nun played by the tiny Kathy St. George, a very funny Paula Plum– as the boisterous, be-sneakered sister Acacius, and a secondary plot involving a Jewish matron, a former boyfriend, and several illegitimate children.  A little of this goes a long way unless it’s unusually funny and well-written. God help me, but I found myself dozing half way through.

So THE DIVINE SISTER was less than inspired from my vantage point– even if they did name Jesus’ sister “Joyce.”  If you see it, let me know if you have an epiphany; I’ll be dreaming of Audrey Hepburn.