Who could make up a tale like this? Who ever heard of a locked door that no one was curious enough to open? Who ever heard of a man on his deathbed suddenly leaping out of that bed and producing a document that clears up all the family mysteries? Who ever heard of creating an incidental character–a child not directly connected to the central story–solely for the purpose of killing her off ? These and other obscene contrivances are the stuff of “Sarah’s Key,” based on the best-seller about a little known chapter in WWII involving the round up of French Jews in the middle of Paris: the Vel d’Hiv roundup of 1942.

This tale needs to be told– but not like this. There are parts of the movie that are effective, especially when the action moves to the death camps. But even the talented Kristin Scott Thomas seems ill at ease in this badly acted, mechanically written, melodramatically conceived excuse for jerking even more tears out of the holocaust. The worst scene? Two actors slow dancing with a sultry vocal in the background, crooning something about a lock and key!!! I think it may be the only time I have ever laughed out loud–in horror.

SARAH’S KEY! Lose it.